I often get on the phone with coaching clients, and they tell me what their thoughts are. And then they get right to work on trying to convince me that whatever they’re thinking is the Honest to God Truth.
For example, they want to convince me that the people in their business niche have no money, or that their boss really does have it in for them.
Here’s the thing.
Who the hell cares if it’s true?!
It’s often IMPOSSIBLE to know if something is actually true or not.
Instead of looking at whether a thought they’re having is TRUE, I ask them to look at whether it’s SERVING THEM. Does it serve them to think that the clients in their niche don’t have any money? Does it serve them to think that their boss has it in for them?
Hell no! Thoughts like these make me want to sit on my couch, eat Doritos, and fast forward to some future time.
So if you are having thoughts like the ones above, I want to offer you something. I want you to start thinking about those thoughts as like shady people. If shady people came over to your doorstep, you wouldn’t want to invite them in for a drink. You wouldn’t want to entertain them.
In the very same way, stop ENTERTAINING these kinds of thoughts. Everyone has thoughts like these, and you can’t stop them from visiting. And you can feel bad when they come by. That’s perfectly OK.
But beyond that, stop nurturing them. Stop inviting them in to hang out all night. (Stop TELLING these thoughts to other people on repeat, trying to convince everyone in earshot that they're The Truth. Stop spending time inventorying all the evidence you have to support these thoughts.)
Instead, intentionally come up with another thought you do like. A thought that Serves You. Like instead of ‘clients in my niche have no money’, what about ‘clients in my niche may not be millionaires, but everyone spends on the things that matter most to them’. Instead of ‘my boss has it in for me’, what about ‘my boss feels that I can do better on this one thing’ or ‘my boss is really frustrated and overloaded, so she doesn’t have a lot of time to send me nice emails’.
What if you invited Those thoughts in for a drink? What if you nursed those thoughts into full friendships?
So right now, transform your relationship to your thoughts. Stop asking yourself ‘are they true’, and start asking yourself ‘do they serve me?’. The thoughts that serve you will have you take actions from a completely different place, and I promise, if you nurture those thoughts enough, you WILL start to get the results you want in life!